better ...
It's been two weeks now, since I wrote in sadness and I always wondered what the next entry would contain ... and just a few moments ago the answer appeared: a sleeping Sternchen Lain.
This is really sweet. Sternchen Lain fell asleep in my arm (we had a complete power breakdown and were cuddling in the half-dark with some candles on) and I swear I heard her snoring. And I thought, "Argh, why isn't anybody here right now to take an image?" ... She was really sleeping deeply. Usually when she falls alseep in my arm she just takes a small nap but this time she did not even wake up when I was moving. So I dared to put her on the couch veeery carefully and veeery slowly and she did not wake up. And while I was giggling silently, I took these images.
Since Komet is gone I was bunny looking six times so far and yes, there were incredible sweet bunnies of course. I almost adopted one like ... four times but no, there's no new bunny here at this very moment. I will go bunny looking today again and next week too. I still have to wait for the moment that feels completely right.
I thank everyone who left a message over here and especially the people that mailed me. I received so many sweet emails that came so unexpected and I'd like to say, I appreciate them very very much. All these lovely words, thank you for taking the time to gather them and send them over to me.
I am also very thankful that my friends accepted to read the bad news over here instead of forcing me to write it down once again. Thank you. <3
And most special thanks of course to Janine, for everything.
Even though you're so far away, I feel you very close. <3<3<3
Tuesday night, a few minutes to twelve, Komet died.
He died all of a sudden, I am still totally in shock. I was with him all the time, he was not alone, I talked to him and touched him. It was very horrible for me to be so helpless and I am still ... paralyzed. It still feels so unreal but I know it is real.
I already burried him not far away from me. I am very happy that he's close. My hands are so damaged and wounded from digging in the ground ... I do not possess a shovel and I did not want to wait with the burial ... so. But my heart aches more than my hands do.
You know, when Komet was so sick last year and had all these dangerous surgeries, I thought it would take me forever to write about it in case of ... . And I still feel not like writing but ... the more I push it away, the harder it will become. I know that I will have to tell it sooner or later because friends may ask "How are your bunnies doing ...?" ... well, it is "How is your bunny doing ...?" now.
Sternchen Lain is fine, she's dreaming of Komet at this very moment I think. She's a strong bunny. I know that. Of course there is the question of getting a new baby bunny. For Sternchen Lain as well as for me to get over it. At the moment it does not feel right, but I will probably go bunny-looking next week and maybe I fall in love. Janine is convinced that this will help. Baby bunnies always help. That's true for sure. And Janine helped me very much too. She's the only one I actually wanted to talk to in this very moment.
I hope that my friends who wonder why I do not reply and am off so suddenly read this entry. I am so sorry I cannot mail or phone this all around. I just cannot. All of this already feels hard enough.
I need a few days off.
I will be back when I feel better.
Komet was with me for 7 years and 75 days and will be loved beyond.
shiricki 
12:44 AM 
